Self Pity
Back from The Looking Glass
Kim and Steve Cooper
$29.95
The Love Safety Net Workbook
Kim and Steve Cooper
$29.95
10 Steps to Overcome Codependence
Kim and Steve Cooper
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Emotional Stupidity
Kim and Steve Cooper
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This stop on our tour should have a skull & crossbones warning flag on it!
Many people try and avoid their feelings of guilt and shame by stopping at the island of at self pity instead - but the consequences of this detour can truly be ghastly!
Guilt, shame and embarrassment are feelings that no one enjoys feeling. They serve an important purpose however in modifying our behaviour where it is not compatible with the feelings and needs of our family and community.
It is very human to avoid feeling guilt, shame and embarrassment and for us to instead choose to see ourselves as a victim, blaming others for things that go wrong in our life and choosing the ‘exquisite & self inflicted’ torment of self pity instead!
If we visit the island of self pity too regularly however we will find ourselves cut off from our loved ones by our own lines of judgement and blame. Our recollection of events will become distorted to suit or purposes and we will start becoming bitter and cynical. You should beware that self pity is also addictive and this ‘island’ has ghosts and spirits on it that will pretend to be your friends.
Do you regularly blame the condition of your life on someone else? Do you use someone else's bad behaviour to justify things you are not proud of in yourself? Do you crave sympathy and someone to ‘take your side’ against others who you feel are responsible for you pain?
If so you are trapped on this terrible island and you better make haste in your plans for escape. Anyone who encourages you to feel sorry for yourself is NOT your friend and is in fact manipulating you (they are probably lonely and trapped on this island themselves) so leaving your self pity behind may also mean that you need to change some of your friends.
Wave good bye to the feeling that you are innocent and everyone else to blame (and to the false phantasms who tell you to hate and blame) and instead set your sites on the island of guilt & shame. It will be harrowing facing the truth of where you have in fact let yourself down, but take solace. This is not a life sentence and after a brief but painful look in the enchanted mirror on the next island you will be ready to sail refreshed and renewed with new and fairer shores on your horizon!
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