Love
Do you give your best to the people closest to you?
Or do you expect them to accept your worst?
Do you display strength, patience and self control with those you love,
so that they feel safe and valued with you?
Or do you expect your family to tolerate and support your weakest character traits
(and exhaustion) while you give more of your best to your friends and your work?
...
Is home even where you really want to be?
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True happiness, success and self worth are built from the inside out ...
If we want to live joyously with others, first we must learn to live joyously with ourselves.
Stop and ask yourself ...
If you lost everything you have right now, could you live peacefully with yourself?
Imagine it now and think about what in your life might need to change for you to find this peace. Are there things about your life that you are not really proud of? If so perhaps it is time for change ...
After thinking about being at peace with ourselves peace with ourselves we can then think about being at peace with our family...
No matter which position we hold in our family or what our family constellation looks like, the health of our relationship skills can best be determined by examining the health of the relationships we nurture with those closest to us.
All the truly good things in life come from the inner sanctuary of a solid and happy home life ...
There is no hiding from it; if our closest relationships are difficult or sour, then success in other areas will not make our life sweet.
The reverse is also true ...
If our home life is sweet, we will enjoy it's sanctuary from all the various troubles in the outer world ...
This is because real success in life starts at home.
There are many things in the outer world to distract us from having solid and healthy relationships with our family, but nothing that will replace its value to ourselves and to our community. There is nothing the world needs more right now than stable and functional families. One healthy family can act as an anchor and an example for a whole community. Who do we have around us to model a happy home life on? The Simpsons or other dysfunctional TV families? The humour of these programs fades if there is no healthy family present in peoples lives to compare them to. Where do children learn correct behaviour if all they experience at home is dysfunction and then see only satire on TV?
If your family is dysfunctional, stability can be rebuilt, but it can only happen one member at a time. If your home is currently troubled - will the restoration of peace and respect begin with you? And if not with who?
It starts from the inside out.
Learning to understand our own personal strengths and weaknesses while giving honest attention and training to the gaps in our development will help us mature into stronger team players, ready to support those in our family with perhaps less self awareness.
The steps and advice you will be challenged with on this cruise and in our ebooks cannot all be tackled and mastered at once. This work is one step at a time. You will also need to forgive yourself and chart your progress honestly. Do you blow up at the kids in unhealthy ways? Do you make unreasonable demands that your partner take responsibility for your feelings? Well look honestly at it. How often has this happened in the past and how often does it happen now? If these episodes are becoming less frequent, you are doing well. Learning to regulate your emotions and emotional responses is like exercise; every time you do it you get stronger and better at it. It will be difficult and may perhaps feel unnatural at first, but like driving a car, the new behaviour will eventually become second nature and step by step you can move on to bigger and better goals.
Picture yourself now as part of a family where you are known and loved and where all of the members are respected and growing to their full potential. Really feel what it would be like to be part of that right now...
This feeling will give you the motivation to do the work that is ahead of you including facing the not so pleasant job of examining your own worst behaviour.
We must each find the courage to look at our worst if we ever hope to achieve our best.
I hope that you enjoy our cruise and that you will also decide to take on the challenge that our full program offers. The ideas that we present are not academic, they are ideas that need to be put into action to work. But these ideas do work and if you are at all like Steve and I, the reward for your efforts may be beyond what you now believe possible.
Kim Cooper
Exercises
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1.Imagine losing everything you have right now, including your health .. Imagine being stuck in a hospital bed with nothing but yourself and your own thoughts to live with. Do this now for at least 5 minutes ...
- Could you live peacefully with yourself? Or are there things you are doing now or have done in the past that would not give you peace?
From this place ask yourself what in your life needs to change?
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2.Think about the health of your relationships with those closest to you. Don’t blame tension or trouble on anyone or anything, just look objectively and answer this question; Are your relationships healthy and happy? Or is there disappointment and discord?
If your closest relationships are not happy there are certainly relationship skills you are lacking. What would it feel like to have better relationships ...?
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3.Imagine being known and loved by your family and all of its members. Then imagine each member being respected and appreciated and each of you growing to your full potential...
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Really feel what it would be like to have this right now.
This feeling will sustain and motivate you to take on the challenge of completing the rest of our program.
©MODPOD2010